Giving In to Self Healing

tea with nemesis

Given the amount of news that’s been happening lately, from letdowns of the big-time business kind to shutdowns of the government kind and meltdowns of the nuclear kind, not to mention showdowns of the cometary kind, it’s no wonder that the little wonders of life get lost in the shuffle. It’s hard to pay attention to anything in particular when so much in general is making headlines. Even the lessons of spiritual leaders is making it into the back pages of the news, but little is said of what is happening on the impending next thing, simply because we don’t know exactly what it is. We can feel it coming, though, and it feels like more than just a change in the weather.

Last time I checked, there were still a few things that we had to take care of before the major events of global awakening could come to a fully satisfying culmination of extraterrestrial appearances or world peace, take your pick, either or both. One thing that hasn’t yet happened is the detonation of light from the midst of warfare, something that would end the need for war, something that would render it incapable of continuing, something… something really obvious that would give everyone pause to drop the pretense of violence and go home. It could come in the form of something fearful or something beautiful, or something not even imaginable by our minds today, addled as they are with aforesaid distractions and shell games. It is inevitable that the world will change. It is not inevitable that it will change in ways that we can predict. We can feel our way through the changes and trust that we’re on the path toward universal enharmonics (this is my own personal preference at the moment) or we can choose any number of other modes of dealing with the day’s serving of stuff to deal with. Incrementally and by big steps, change is happening NOW. It’s not something we have to wait for. We’re in it, and we are changing as we move through it, whether we’re aware of it or not.

My own path has been bumpy lately, and the treasures have been tangling my feet up as I tread on the path before me. The way of healing is often a messy one, though it can have its bliss and joy. The messy parts remind us how unified we all are, how much of a bipolarity of systematic deconstruction of the social matrix we are navigating through. By that I mean, there are moments when we look in the mirror of reality that presents itself around us and realize that our feelings of pain and broken-heartedness are not anyone else’s responsibility but our own, that we are doing exactly what we came here to do and to learn, and that we are all in agreement to take part in another’s drama, just as they have agreed to take part in our own. In these moments of clarity, we stand between two mirror-worlds which, if we’re clever and paying attention, we can see reflected in the problems caused to us by another person or situation the lost key to the box that holds our pain within, in our own matching characteristics of pain-bringing to ourselves. In other words, there’s no one but ourselves to look at when we see the pain that comes barreling out in moments of intense release of our pain-based concepts of who we are. We came here to learn how to fight, or how to say thank you, or to stand up and walk on our own accord. Whatever the deeper lessons, they’re really pretty simple when you look at them through the eyes of the one in the mirror looking back at you. Forgiving another person is easier when you see that you are forgiving yourself for taking on a difficult task in living within this matrix and learning the lesson of your soul’s secret need in the forgetfulness of being.

It’s time that the dramas take a turn for the less dramatic, but not before the intensity leads to catharsis for us individually and collectively. Remember when the moment comes to let it all out, to see the reflection of soul, and to ultimately love what you see reflected. In the flash of light that follows release, there is no longer a reason for pain to continue waging war within. I think we’ll all be more ready for what comes next, once the heart is clear of the tension of lost keys and missing treasure. In that space of open-hearted healing, anything can bloom.

Wishing you all peaceful revelations and loving transformations.


Trading Hope for Something Better


Right now, most of us are feeling tense about things we can’t control. We can dislike the sound of war drums, we can be disgusted with tawdry exhibitionism on tv, we can watch helplessly as headlines continue to surface about radioactivity poisoning our planet’s largest ocean.I feel the tension outside, but I’m not feeling tense… why? I know I can’t change these things myself. I can’t stop war planes, but I can stop fighting with myself. I can recognize other people’s struggle and let go of my anger about it. I can integrate the brokenness of my life experience and breathe peacefully from my Now into memories of pain and separation from source. I can neutralize the poison of negativity, of not-light, which emanates from within me when I feel out of balance, forgetful of my grounding, lost in the demolition of an ancient, buried, forgotten trauma.

The world is the way it is. Trauma abounds. It is our environment, and it is our projection of experience. I have seen what happens when I turn my attention toward what’s happening in my being, tracing the route of tension in my muscles, in my gut, feeling where my breathing is caught, where my thoughts go away somewhere irretrievably… and I bring my awareness back to center. I trust this movement back to center, because I have discovered over time that in the center there is no fear. It is the eye of the storm, and diving into that place will dissipate the energy of the strongest maelstrom fear can conjure up.

So I ask myself, where am I feeling the tension? Breathe into that place. Anger feels like electricity… observe the interaction of waveforms between the anger, the static charge of irritation or annoyance, and the quiet pulsations of peace from the space deep within where the memory of home lives. See yourself as a charged particle of humanity, and allow yourself to see electrons flying away, if that helps. Feel the charge of turbulent emotions settle into neutrality. These are just a few tricks. There are so many more that we can remember and discover to our benefit.

What good does that do? The world is still a tense place, right? Give yourself a minute. Listen. Reality is holographic. As above so below. The structure of an atom and the structure of a solar system, of the universe and brain neurons are identical… maybe you’ve seen the pictures posted on FB! Since what we do within our little world ripples out into the greater reality, wherever you achieve peace–even a shred of it, even for a moment–you have enabled peace in the global human organism of which each of us is a part.

Reality is holographic. Do something to change your life (not someone else’s, just your own… everything else will follow, trust me!) and you will do something to change the world. Build it from there and know that you are a powerful being. You own that power. No one can take it away from you. Turn off the tv and close your eyes, look within and discover a whole new world, truly one of your own creation. You own that.

Trade hopelessness for trust, hope for fearlessness, fear for peace, dreams for reality. Unleash yourself, set yourself free, and watch what happens.

Shining Light into the Darkness

fearlessness of demonic darkness

Even at the height of summer sunshine, it’s still pretty easy to see the dark hand of Nemesis at work. Nemesis, however, is a teacher, a regulator of karma, who brings everything into balance, eventually. Rest your mind about the deeper goings-on in the world with the knowledge that there is shifting and balancing happening at every moment. I’m sure you’ve felt this in your own life, lately. Difficulties can become challenges with a simple shift of focus, and light can appear where you least expect it, if you can see from deep within your own being. During these days of blazing sunlit glory, become more aware of the power you own, of the divine light that you carry, and know that it is, in fact, the secret that the denizens of darkness seek, but perhaps fear to find. Hold your light fearlessly, dear ones, and know that the illumination you provide to the darkness itself is going to change everything, everywhere, once the job of Nemesis is silently still. Be blessed in these days, stay in balance with the elements, and above all, enjoy the moments of peace that sparkle in your life.

If you haven’t seen them yet, I’ve added a couple of videos of Anica’s recent teachings shared about the darkness. You’ll find them at the Channel Nine YouTube page.

[Note: I wrote this up earlier in July and meant to post it before now, but the info is still fresh and pertinent to today as ever!]

2013 and It’s Getting Later…

waiting for 2013

Like many people looking at the calendar and wondering what the heck is happening in this time of global change, I have some thoughts about the state of the world. What is happening with the sun, the weather, the earth, the social order…. all this is troubling to me and to many. Yet on another level of awareness, I know that everything is working out for the soul of humanity to experience the most remarkable transformation into understanding its innate divinity and expressing that in a way that will forever be remembered as a new birth for the planet. But for now, to look around, there are some troubling things going on. What to do in the face of them? Not get overwhelmed, and not shut down. Remember that your experience of healing is connected to a greater collective consciousness which is also healing. Your awareness and mindfulness in moving through your own buried trauma, however small, your realization of your own power to transform your life, is going to ripple into that collective and have an impact on the whole. Remember that, and be encouraged.

Trying to keep balanced with the knowledge that there’s a bigger picture I’m not fully aware of, I have nonetheless watched with increasing alarm the situations playing out that are bringing to the surface aspects of human experience most in need of healing. Brutality. Toxicity. Hypocrisy. Cruelty. For example, last week’s big news story: Now that the women in Cleveland are free from their decade-long horror of exploitation, how will they integrate their experience and heal from it? What they lived through is beyond the ability of most people to even approach comprehending. How are we as the ones witnessing it going to process a level of pain and inhumanity this unfathomable? How can <em>you</em> release your own pain of isolation, slavery, powerlessness, pain? I have been watching the recognitions coming out of this event, and working on my own inner pain with the awareness of connection to the global consciousness of enslavement that has been part of our culture, overtly and covertly, for much too long. It is not easy to confront, but doing the work is what leads to being free for everyone. I am humbled to participate in this collective healing, brought into focus by these survivors, these great souls.

This is just one example. There are so many these days to choose from. We could use them as crowbars to wrench ourselves as a people free from the hidden bonds of night. Is it useful to apply what we witness to bring ourselves into alignment with our soul’s plan, and the plan of the soul of the planet? Can greater understanding be found in exploring our own pain? How do you deal with the distress that comes up on your screen? It’s necessary to take a clear and honest look at what is dying in our world to be ready to welcome rebirth. It is time to let go of the pain that has caused so much degradation, so much poisoning of our people and our world, and to do what we can do to stay above the level of worry about what might happen, or what is happening that we have no control over. You are the only one who can help yourself come out of the darkness of sleep. In sharing the light you discover in healing, in bringing together the shattered aspects of self living in this world of 3D, you help.

To open up this discussion further, I invite you to engage in some of the groups going on at the O9 website, and to create new groups to stimulate a greater healing with the community. Bring your fears and your hopes, your concerns and observations. Post videos, photos, words, music to enrich understanding and transformation. Share what you know! Every voice is precious. This is the time for bringing it all together and out in the open. Remember: The site exists for you, in resonance with the deep vibration of love that the League of Light have been opening up for us all. Take advantage of what’s there and create it to be what serves the collective of humanity in this time of transformation.

I wish you all peace and wholeness.

Looking at the Monster of Imperfection

strolling with the monster

Over the past month, I have been going through some kind of transformation from within the core of my being, and nothing in my path is safe from the fire. It has been getting to the most deeply buried ideas about love that I have ever consciously accessed. How I have experienced it is a fully interactive arcade of imperfections steadily pointing out to me what I am experiencing is a form of imperfection in my concept of myself. For my part, I have rolled up my sleeves and am breaking a lot of belief structures and OM is in the background of it all. If we are all on the verge of finishing our lessons as a planet, it is important that we finish our lessons as they appear from moment to moment throughout the day. It’s not as if this is the final exam, but we do seem to be entering a period of expectancy, open to the possibility for fractalline tangents to our central sphere of beingness to return in full awareness of love. It feels to me like we have been wandering around in circles and have suddenly realized that all the paths we took were each part of a holographic design leading back to the central point of integration.

I haven’t given much thought about how this transformation is going. I’m really just trying to ride it out. It feels like it wouldn’t matter if I knew, anyway. It’s all going to be just fine. First, though, I have to deal with the reality in front of me, and change what I can to bring myself into alignment with the place my soul is driving at. It is the only thing I have any true control over, the way I choose to respond to my reality. It is the only way I can change anything else, is to change it within myself first. Which means I have to look at it and acknowledge its existence before it dissolves into something else. I have learned this from my son, who says if you look at the monsters, they will disappear. It is sage advice.

I have changed what I can in my environment, moving things around, cutting my hair, and forcing myself to savor a cup of tea for a few minutes every day. I enjoy the change in perspective, and the reality I see through this newly focused lens is showing the imperfections starkly in contrast to the picture that pulsates with life in the background of my awareness. I am seeing the energies of change sweeping through as if doing a final check-in before themselves changing into something completely new and unexpected. And the unexpected is probably the only sure thing we can expect.

Which brings me to a topic that has been much on my mind: expectation. It is the step beyond intention. It is the nail the hammer of intention hits. It is the single point toward which desires end before becoming manifest. It comes at me from all sources, and has positioned itself as the governing concept for this particular time and place. Tell me, what do you expect from life? Could it be the thing you say you expect is merely the thing you want? If you really want to see where you have to change in order to get closer in alignment with peace, look at the things in your present reality that you consider points of imperfection. Look at the reactions you allow, the emotional response you choose to fuel, the words you would use to describe the reality imperfections you experience now. Could it be that those are clues to what you truly expect life to throw at you? I look at my own set of circumstances from this lifetime, and I see that I have always expected, in some form, disappointment. This is a powerful frequency modulator, to recognize the true nature of your own expectations. It is from that point that you can apply the logic of a 5-year-old monster fan to good  measure. Look your imperfect self square in the eye and say, without a moment’s hesitation, with a full breath of air, “You are an aspect of my soul that has come home to be loved. Know you are loved and release the frequency you have held. Become pure encodement of love in the form of light, and return to OM.”

It helps to have a laser blaster handy, for any really stuck energies, so says the monster fan. Noted.

I’m blessed to have so many distractions to focus on. I’m getting extra credit for that thought pattern showing up. These are the things I tell myself to get me through the chaos that is coming with the tide of change. The family dinner is at my table this Christmas, and there is a lot to do to get ready for that. It will be good to have a chance to share with my mother what I have learned from her in the kitchen. The tree is up and decorated, the house getting ready for company, and so much going on with the Renegades and the online community of resonance!


Translations: I’ve been working under the radar and have a few things to announce, in the spirit of disclosure. Karla and James have been translating articles from the Renegades and Anica into Spanish and French, so there is a growing list of pieces in translation. I trust their relationship with the words they are working with, and expect that their efforts will allow more people to find resonance in the messages.

Personal Readings: A few people have asked when I’d be doing personal readings again, so I have decided now’s as good a time as any to offer that service anew.  If you would like to have an insightful and provocative communication regarding your own experience as you are awakening, or whatever, you may want to consider having a reading. You can find some feedback on the home page, and nearly everyone who responds after reading their message tells me that the information unfolds more and more over time, leading to a deeper understanding of the path to integration and wholeness.

Calendar, cards, book, etc.: Just in time (barely) for the holidays, some new offerings at the Pleiadian Soul online store. You’ll find a new cosmically aligned “Christmas” card design, and a stunning wall calendar for 2010. Look for new t-shirt designs based on the artwork, coming soon. There’s also a fun new white oval car sticker to let people know where you’re coming from, with the sign “PL” for Pleiades. And for your friends and family who don’t rely on the Internet for information on What’s Happening Now, consider “Remembrance: Messages for Preparing for Contact”, the Renegades’ collected messages from 2008. It’s available from as a printed book or as a download.

New Facebook Community: I’ve been getting so many new friends on Facebook, I’ve realized it’s time to start a fan page so I can keep my communications straight. I find that I’ve been hesitating posting certain information or starting discussions on my Facebook page because not all of my friends and family are on the same page, so to speak. Starting the fan page opens that door wide, and I’m really looking forward to it coming alive. It’s called “Renegade Operatives”, and you’ll find it here. Please join! There are a lot of great communities on Facebook, and a lot of awareness spreading through its pages.

As always, your donations keep me afloat, and the websites online. Nothing fancy, but the bare minimum for keeping this information flowing. Thank you for supporting the site, and thus supporting the greater awakening of global consciousness. As we prepare for the darkest moon at this darkest time of year, may we carry enough love in our hearts to transform the shadows we meet into the purest essence of light and experience the transformation of love in the core of our being. I wish for you all great blessings and delightful surprises as the light of a new year dawns. Expect miracles, expect love, expect truth. We will not be disappointed.


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